When it comes to improving my inner self, however, I rarely settle for good enough. I am in a constant state of wonder, of questioning, of change. I think to myself, how can I be better?
As a mom to an almost 4-year old (who gives me a run for my money in the brains department), I have vast room for improvement. I need to keep an even, non-emotional tone. I need to work on my patience. I need to let loose and play once in a while, even if it makes a mess. I need to compliment her efforts more often, instead of only reprimanding her problem moments.
Our children model their behaviors on ours. Have you ever seen Nanny 911? Supernanny? These parenting experts never adjust the kids… they fix the parents. I am thankful and proud for the amazing little girl we have raised so far. She is a joy to travel with, she behaves in restaurants, she is a quiet listener in school, and she has a genuine desire to make us happy. But she is a preschooler – she has an attention span of approximate two-point-five minutes and everything, from dressing to getting in the car, takes exponentially longer than I think it should. And now, she gets impatient with me sometimes. She uses a short tone of voice. She questions my rules. And when she does these things, I can see how it mimics exactly what she hears on the other side.
I am mom and she is child, I get this. But I do wish her a calm, happy, balanced life. I will never be perfect, but I can always step it up a notch. Every human on earth has something (several things) that could stand improvement. If a few personal improvements can make my daughter a better mommy one day, then I am all for it.
I just have to take a breath and remember them when I’m completely annoyed.
And that's the hardest part, isn't it?
